Can two negatives equal a positive?

    

     The title speaks for itself, and mathematically, it's a truth. In Life, however, we come into contact with negative people everyday. While it's a humorous thought to ponder, throwing two of them into a room and seeing if one harms the other but comes out positive, isn't exactly ethical.

So how do we address the negative people and circumstances of the world? We've all seen them, and had to interact with them. The people who tell you Monday morning that their weekend was the absolute worst. As though it was a competition. There's the people who can trump every crappy experience in your life to make themselves seem like the worlds victim, and no matter what you say, they've had it harder.

As someone who works on this daily, as a manic depressive, I can assure you that copious amounts of pills, alcohol, sex, money, etc. won't solve the issue. If you truly want to see everything in the world as negative, you can find a way to dwell on every minor negativity, bypassing ever seeing any of the good. In fact, I've often found that negative people see the world as some sort of score card, where their experiences are tallied daily, and they are the only one who can understand the scoring, so it always seems to be in a deficit.

The other day I actually thought about this for a period of time, and I couldn't come to a conclusion about the cause. We all have horrible things happen in life, our cars break down and have a massive repair bill, our favorite pet passes away, we lose our jobs and sense of belonging in the world, etc. For others it sometimes seems as though their lives are filled with nothing but good luck, lottery wins, promotions, and other unexpected windfalls.To be honest the amount of good or bad in our lives doesn't seem to be a calculable amount that we can quantify, but more of a random factor. 

The next thought I had was one that a lot of people may not agree with, but seemed to make the most sense; learned behavior.When I thought about the people I knew who were consistently negative in life, I looked at their world around them and considered hereditary biases. Suddenly it made more sense.
Picture a person who's raised with a parent who is constantly critical of the world, negative about every aspect, and constantly belittling, suddenly you see how their child grew up to be this person that seems to feel the world is out to get them.
There are whole families of people who act this way, constantly competing with one another for who has it worse, seeking pity from one another. No wonder their children don't stand a chance, they were raised to see the world as a terrible Karmic ass kicking on a daily basis.

I can't say that I was a child of this practice by any means. My parents had their hardships, and their triumphs, and saw them as such. They used to tell me, "it happens, but you can't let it keep you down, and you can't let it get to you. You have to learn from it and move forward in life." They were right.

So, when it came to my depression, I saw it as a chemical imbalance in the brain that I had to learn to deal with and overcome. I could sit in my room crying, oh poor me, or I could get up and make it better. I struggled for a few years, but honestly, it got better. The big question when I was in a negative state, was how am I going to become positive?

Step 1: Find something positive in each day and focus on it. 



      In College we had a counseling class, devoted to working with people who were in crisis. Our teacher, was a wise and wonderful British woman who used to start every class the same way; Find the positive and tell the class about it. We had to think of one positive moment from the week, one thing that moved us, made us smile, or just brought us joy, and we had to explain it to the class. While many of us found it humorous, and some even saw it as pointless, she was making a profound point; If you can find one happy thing to focus on, and remind yourself of it, you can't say the whole world is negative.

     The practice took time, and a lot of thinking sometimes. It was so easy to find something horrible about the world. Finding the negative was easy and felt better some days, while finding the happy and the positive was hard. Eventually though, it became easy to find something to be happy about each day. I could see the 6 feet of snow outside my door as cold, gross, and annoying; or I could see the fact that when the sun hit the frost covered trees in the morning and the fresh snow was still falling, made something in me feel oddly warm and happy. Each morning after that class, I began looking for that happy daily, and eventually found somedays were almost stellar when I thought about them.



Step 2: Find your own Calm.

     One of the points my college professors taught me, was that a lot of the worlds Crisis is driven daily by the fact that people are on edge all the time. We work tireless hours, under tight deadlines, striving for bosses who under appreciate us, and it becomes easy to panic, become exhausted, and snap at those around us. The truth was that if we want to be happier, nicer, energetic people, we have to find calm. The question was how do we do that in a crazy hectic day?

   The truth is that everyone's calm comes from a different place. Some people like to read to calm themselves by escaping into a good book and leaving the world behind. I like to throw on some headphones, go for a long walk in the middle of nowhere, belting out my favorite songs, or cleaning the house. Either way you do it, the endorphins in your body release, giving you a sense of calming and relaxation, which make it easier to be happy. The best option I was given though, and I still use when the music won't work, was meditation.

   I know some of the world thinks meditation means sitting cross legged, listening to Himalayan chants and wind chimes, but it doesn't have to be. What I found worked was called a guided meditation. You sit in a quiet place, close your eyes, and listen to someone with a soothing voice walk you through an imaginative world that you create. This also becomes good for your imagination. Something as simple as someone telling you, 

                    "You're in your car, and you slowly pull up to the empty piece of property that you own. You   get out, and smell the clear warm air. You hear the singing of the birds around you. Take a moment, picture the surrounding. Picture what it looks like, how you feel. Hear the soft melody of the birds, and feel the warm air on your skin. Breathe in deeply and take a moment to take in your surroundings..."

Essentially the visualization can last anywhere from 5 minutes to half an hour, works with your work breaks, and you can do it anywhere. Once calm, it's easier to refocus and move forward with the day. There are millions of them online, on you tube, and you can even make your own. They fit with whatever you find relaxing, from being on a beach, in the woods, a library, etc.  (or in this case, a field of Sunflowers)

In the end, I don't know why the world is spinning into this odd negative space, but as I was told when I was a child "the world is what you make it" and frankly, I think it should be positive. So if you find yourself feeling the negativity around you, and from others, remember boy scouts; Don't jump in to save them and end up flailing and drowning yourself..... Knock them out, and drag them to shore if you have to. Just kidding. Find your own positive, focus on it, and if the negative people want help offer it. At the end of the day though, it's up to them, and they can only be saved if they truly want to be.

Finally, the RIGHT (wing) solution!

I was browsing my facebook, when I found this article that my friend posted from the internet.








 (http://rightwingnews.com/top-news/welfare-recipients-freak-theyre-told-work/)

Essentially, what it said, was that the people of Maine  were a bit shocked at a decision made by their governor recently. The decision, made a law that had been put on suspension during the recession, was being re-instated. The law itself, makes people who are on welfare, were going to have to go back to working for their welfare cheques. Oddly enough, the almost 6,000 people on welfare in the state, were not happy about this.

My initial thought, was that this would have the potential to harm the legitimate welfare recipients who had kids, were unable to work due to injury, were elderly, etc. That was until I read the article fully.

The law itself, exempts anyone over the age of 50 or under the age of 18, so the elderly, and the children who didn't have parents, or were raised on the child welfare system, would still be completely protected. Parents with children would also be protected, which I fully support, as being a parent 100% of the time to more than one child and without child protective service intervening, if frankly a fulltime job itself; atleast when they are not school aged.

"Governor Paul LePaige said in a statement on the decision. “We must protect our limited resources for those who are truly in need and who are doing all they can to be self-sufficient.” In order to do this noble goal, he is complying with the law which requires that anyone who is on welfare, could be working, and does not have children, must do one of two things to get their funds. The first option was that they could volunteer 20 hours a week for a charity, or non-profit organization. The second option was that they could enroll in educational programs to assist them in being able to be employed.

Frankly, both options were very reasonable. 20 hours out of a week with nothing to do, would benefit the rest of society through working for charity. People would be paying it forward, and the state benefits from the people who are off work. It's something people can be proud of, and even place on their resume as new job skills, and humanitarian work. Education speaks for itself, giving you a chance to learn a new skill, hobby, or even extra criteria for your resume.

The shock came when they interviewed a woman name Melina, who stated that she" was particularly disturbed by the news that she would have to do something in order to receive her special “expensive” food" due to her dietary restrictions. "Melania had been receiving $224 per month for nothing and now just does not think it’s fair to have to put an effort forth for it."

To be honest, I think Ontario and the rest of Canada could learn from this, and implement a very similar law. If you have children at home 24/7, there's absolutely no excuse for not utilizing publicly funded programs for educating your children or keeping them active. I've seen a close friend do this regularly with her children, and after residing with her for almost a year, I was able to see how structured her day was with the kids, and how beneficial it was for them. Her children were well rounded, behaved, and extremely smart.

If people are sitting on welfare, without having children and are not doing anything, then there's absolutely no excuse. These people are draining public resources, which would be better spent for public programs, educational programs, and all sorts of other activities that would benefit society.As a tax payer, we pump millions of dollars into the welfare system every year, and yet our economy suffers because there's no one to run soup kitchens, food banks, shelters, etc. without being paid. These programs would get people off the streets, clean up our country, and cost less than they do currently if staffed by thousands of able bodied volunteers.

Currently, Ontario doesn't have regulations or laws like this. In fact, after seeing our welfare system work, and working with it for many years, I can truthfully say, our welfare system is a giant joke. Our welfare system take money from people who are attempting to work by taking dollar for dollar amounts out of the pockets of hard working citizens. It makes it punitive to work while on welfare, when it should work to top up people who are trying.

Consider this mathematics 101 thought: If you have 20 people on welfare, collecting $500 a month, then the system is paying out $10,000.00 a month to those people alone. Give those 20 people a job, which pays them $400.00, and have welfare add the extra $100 dollars, and you have the system paying only $2,000.00 a month for those same people. At that rate, the tax payers are saving $8,000.00 monthly which works to help an extended 16 people. Now, this is hardly a solution for the system, as it doesn't help anyone become stable, it only replaces money from one pool to another, and there's no actual incentive. However, if those 20 people work the same amount, make the $400.00 a month, and we provide them an extra $250.00 a month, well now they make more which benefits them, and the Taxpayer still saves $5,000.00 to benefit others. We both win, and slowly but surely, those 20 people gain further skills, employment, and stability, getting them off the welfare system altogether.

Let's clean up our own country Canada, let's get volunteers to teach programs, run food banks, shelters, and free programs. If there's a desire to work, people will find a way to do so, and if they reap benefits from both to eventually get off welfare, our country becomes stronger. So push the government to reform our current system and make our country better. There's no reason we can't do this as a nation.

A Great HotSpot in Sudbury

I have to tell you about a awesome new spot in Sudbury, which has officially gotten my business on Friday and Saturday nights. It's Called: "Let's Scrabbalatte" in downtown Sudbury on Elm St.



It's owned and operated by two young brothers, Erik and Lawrie Van Beek, who are running a board game, card game, coffee house, all in one. My fiance wanted to go there, and honestly, while it's still in it's infancy, I can see it becoming a huge hit.
We checked it out tonight, and there were tons of board games to choose from, including card games and Charades style games, even the new hit "Cards Against Humanity."
For a modest $6 admission, you can sit with friends from 6pm until 2am, and play as many games as you want, while drinking a fancy latte, or an energy drink if your needing that extra bit of energy.

I was really happy to see that by the time we were ready to leave, the place had  a solid mix of about fifty people, including a large number of teens. The thought that this was beginning to replace the typical teenage hang outs of underage bars, at home binge drinking parties, and gang activity, was nice to see. The music was current, and everywhere you looked there were people trying a new game, laughing and hanging out with their friends.

So if you find yourself at home thinking of something to do, or just in the city looking for something cheap and easy to do, check it out. It's a nice end to an evening, and something new from the typical dinner and a movie.

Kudos go out to these two guys. This is a great new adventure to undertake.