Installing a Stone Walkway.... Extremely Cheap!!

Tools You'll Need:

- Straight Edged Spade     
-  Hard Rake
- Tarp
- Wheel Burrow
- Hose
- Level
- Broom
- Human Ingenuity

Lawn Supplies:

- Size "A" fine Gravel
- Sand
- Rocks


To begin the project, plan it out and decide what you want it to look like. I've done this a few times, and so far I've only done nice lock stone in front of my front door, and this time I did a path to my garden shed. Either time, Ive made nice straight paths, because it was what I wanted, but you can easily do curved, round, or a mixture of shapes if you decide to. The other great part about this walkway, is that you can add to it and continue it later if you want to as well, so once its in, you can take it out, reshape it, or add to it as you like.

It can easily look like this, if you put some effort into it.




The first thing you want to do, especially if your making curves, is to take your empty hose and lay it out to mark your edges.

 
Your hose will help you to make nice looking lines, which you want to follow with your spade to cut away the grass and expose your path. Use your wheel barrow to haul away the grass and excess dirt, saving some of the loose soil on a tarp to use after if you want to fill in and plant grass amongst the rock path.

Once you have the path outlines, and the dirt cleared, make sure you've gone down a few inches into the soil. I'd strongly suggest about 5-6 inches deep to ensure you have enough room to put in good solid rocks.

The next step you want to take is deciding how much you had intended to spend on the pathway. If you want it to be very professional looking and have perfect matching stones, then you may need to up your budget and call a landscaping business for the rock. * Warning of Caution, they tend to charge by the pound, which can get extremely expensive.
Also depending on the size of the walkway and the budget you have, you may consider calling a local trucking company and pricing out how much it would cost to have them bring you the gravel and sand you need. If it's a small pathway, or even a long one, sometimes its less headache to just have them bring you a pick up truck sized load of gravel and sand. Place the loose gravel and sand on tarps, to prevent losing it in the grass, or digging up grass when shoveling the aggregates.

If you're more adventurous and frugal, like myself, you may not care about doing the work yourself, and there's where the savings comes in, along with the Human Ingenuity.  I live in an area where there are mass rock cliffs, sand piles, and gravel pits, so doing the work merely takes me finding what I need and using my brain and muscles. This also leads you to exploring the world around you a bit, and sometimes it can be an awesome relaxing weekend on some back roads, scouting rocks with your fiance. You may even see some great wild life like the Canadian Goose on a grass field that was about the same size as my 110lb American bulldog. *DO NOT APPROACH WILDLIFE, IT'S WILD!

Now, I have searched to find out if picking rocks off the sides of road ways is illegal or not, and to be honest I have not found a definite answer. So I say this instead, *If you are going to do so, find a nice quiet backroad. DO NOT PICK ROCKS OFF MAJOR HIGHWAYS. It's dangerous, Disruptive to traffic, and Illegal to block a Highway. Use common sense.

While picking the rocks, look for ones that have a good size to them, are thick, and have a nice sized flattened area (If you want a flat walkway), or some people may like nice Round Stone walkways, and may want nice sized round rocks. I prefer flat ridged ones, as I find they lock in place nicer.

When you get home, lay out your rocks with the flat side you liked, facing up. Space them into the pathway the way you would want them as well, to ensure you have enough, Like this:
If you don't want weeds growing up through, you can put plastic lining under neath the rocks. If you want grass to grow though, I'd avoid it.

After you placed your stones in there, all nice and neat, take them back out. You wanted to ensure you had enough rocks, but once you know you have enough, and a few extra, take them back out and line the bottom with the fine gravel you got. You should rake the gravel to be nice and even on the bottom, ensuring it's a couple inches thick all over.
Now you place the rocks back in where you had them. This allows the rocks to be placed in, and shifted up or down a bit as needed to ensure it's all closely level with the ground around it. The fine gravel allows some shifting, but also holds rocks you placed already nice and steady, just don't walk on them yet. So go

Once everything is back into place the way you wanted it, take your sand, and put it on top. It does not need to be nice and neat yet, you want to get the sane in there and around all of the stones. Once you have it all shoveled in, take your broom, and sweep the stones, getting it cleared off. Sweeping the sand, allows it to be pushed into all the fine little nooks and cranny's to hold the rocks in place.

Finally, you're going to take your hose again, and connect it to the outdoor faucet. You want to wet the sand in, and soak it. The water helps to pull down all the sand into the areas you cant see, and makes it nice and tight. It will settle and pack into place this way leaving a bit of extra room between the stones, which is alright. Once you have some extra space about half an inch thick around all the rocks, you can add your top soil, mulch, peastone, etc. to finish it off. This allows channels for the finish to stick in between, or for grass to grow.

The effect is beautiful, and if you wanted plants to grow in between the rock, it will not have some of the best soil and drainage possible. You also have the satisfaction of a job well done, and a stunning look around your yard. 

Depending on the materials you used, and where you found them, this may cost you nothing more than a tank of gas, and some manual labor. My walkway cost me about $10 total, and with a little help from my fiance, took no more than a weekend to put in. I finished mine with some clover, and it's awesome.

Enjoy!!!!

The Harry Potter, Narnia, Adult content, all in one Book

        I've been spending a lot of time reading. In fact, my fiance is having to ask me to go to bed some nights, and turn off table lamp, just to get me to put my new book down. So I present to you all, one of the best new adult versions of Harry Potter, Narnia style books, that I have found and fell in love with. "The Magicians Trilogy" by Lev Grossman.


        Now, I should warn you, this book starts out with a long lead up to the details of the Narnian style world called "Fillory" that it suggests the book is about from the back cover. To be truthful, the beginning three quarters of the book is about a college aged guy named Quentin, and how he eventually stumbled into the harsher, less romanticized version of a Hogwarts styled school. The book follows his education in magic, and then his leaving the school prior to ever getting to the magical Narnian styled world of "Fillory"; But the journey is well worth it, and exciting all the same.

       While I read the first book, which was hard to put down at times, I never expected the author to have the students go into any form of Fifty Shades of Grey. That was until I reached somewhere around page 73, and realized, that the Author not only made it an adult book with the references and the working, but also with the adult styled intimate scenes. What I truly loved though, was that he didn't tarnish the book by going into grotesque and intimate details. Lev Grossman artistically gives you just a couple paragraphs to describe the intro to the scene, and then allows your mind to go where it wants with the image. Your choice, either you picture more, or you find it's not for you and you keep reading onward. Honestly, it was a shock initially to me that the paragraphs would even be in the book, making me sit up in bed one night while reading at 1am, go "Wow, OK, this multilayer novel, just added a whole new side to it that I'm kinda intrigued with."

       The other major point of interest in this book, was the various plot lines to follow. You begin thinking it's a story about Quentin and the school and that the book will begin and end with that journey, but it doesn't. There's an underlying story of Quentin's life in the real world, that continues behind the scenes to only pop hints about what happening outside his world while he's not there, and leaving you asking "What's happening in the outside world?" The story also weaves in this land from a Narnia styled series that continues to be mentioned in the book, and you are constantly wondering what it will have to do with the story, until eventually it takes over the story.

     Lev Grossman wrote a fantastic series, and understandably a New York Times Best seller, that leaves your wanting more with every page. Rarely do I find a book that I read, and upon finishing the first novel, want to run out and grab the second one in the series. This book did just that, with me wanting the next installment (which I drove to town and bought within an hour of finishing the first one).

    If you find yourselves with time on your hands, needing a good escape into a new reality and world of adventure, then I'd strongly recommend this one.  I'm working on the second book, "The Magician King", and hardly wanted to stop to do work or anything else. Hope you guys feel the same.

~ A.

Can two negatives equal a positive?

    

     The title speaks for itself, and mathematically, it's a truth. In Life, however, we come into contact with negative people everyday. While it's a humorous thought to ponder, throwing two of them into a room and seeing if one harms the other but comes out positive, isn't exactly ethical.

So how do we address the negative people and circumstances of the world? We've all seen them, and had to interact with them. The people who tell you Monday morning that their weekend was the absolute worst. As though it was a competition. There's the people who can trump every crappy experience in your life to make themselves seem like the worlds victim, and no matter what you say, they've had it harder.

As someone who works on this daily, as a manic depressive, I can assure you that copious amounts of pills, alcohol, sex, money, etc. won't solve the issue. If you truly want to see everything in the world as negative, you can find a way to dwell on every minor negativity, bypassing ever seeing any of the good. In fact, I've often found that negative people see the world as some sort of score card, where their experiences are tallied daily, and they are the only one who can understand the scoring, so it always seems to be in a deficit.

The other day I actually thought about this for a period of time, and I couldn't come to a conclusion about the cause. We all have horrible things happen in life, our cars break down and have a massive repair bill, our favorite pet passes away, we lose our jobs and sense of belonging in the world, etc. For others it sometimes seems as though their lives are filled with nothing but good luck, lottery wins, promotions, and other unexpected windfalls.To be honest the amount of good or bad in our lives doesn't seem to be a calculable amount that we can quantify, but more of a random factor. 

The next thought I had was one that a lot of people may not agree with, but seemed to make the most sense; learned behavior.When I thought about the people I knew who were consistently negative in life, I looked at their world around them and considered hereditary biases. Suddenly it made more sense.
Picture a person who's raised with a parent who is constantly critical of the world, negative about every aspect, and constantly belittling, suddenly you see how their child grew up to be this person that seems to feel the world is out to get them.
There are whole families of people who act this way, constantly competing with one another for who has it worse, seeking pity from one another. No wonder their children don't stand a chance, they were raised to see the world as a terrible Karmic ass kicking on a daily basis.

I can't say that I was a child of this practice by any means. My parents had their hardships, and their triumphs, and saw them as such. They used to tell me, "it happens, but you can't let it keep you down, and you can't let it get to you. You have to learn from it and move forward in life." They were right.

So, when it came to my depression, I saw it as a chemical imbalance in the brain that I had to learn to deal with and overcome. I could sit in my room crying, oh poor me, or I could get up and make it better. I struggled for a few years, but honestly, it got better. The big question when I was in a negative state, was how am I going to become positive?

Step 1: Find something positive in each day and focus on it. 



      In College we had a counseling class, devoted to working with people who were in crisis. Our teacher, was a wise and wonderful British woman who used to start every class the same way; Find the positive and tell the class about it. We had to think of one positive moment from the week, one thing that moved us, made us smile, or just brought us joy, and we had to explain it to the class. While many of us found it humorous, and some even saw it as pointless, she was making a profound point; If you can find one happy thing to focus on, and remind yourself of it, you can't say the whole world is negative.

     The practice took time, and a lot of thinking sometimes. It was so easy to find something horrible about the world. Finding the negative was easy and felt better some days, while finding the happy and the positive was hard. Eventually though, it became easy to find something to be happy about each day. I could see the 6 feet of snow outside my door as cold, gross, and annoying; or I could see the fact that when the sun hit the frost covered trees in the morning and the fresh snow was still falling, made something in me feel oddly warm and happy. Each morning after that class, I began looking for that happy daily, and eventually found somedays were almost stellar when I thought about them.



Step 2: Find your own Calm.

     One of the points my college professors taught me, was that a lot of the worlds Crisis is driven daily by the fact that people are on edge all the time. We work tireless hours, under tight deadlines, striving for bosses who under appreciate us, and it becomes easy to panic, become exhausted, and snap at those around us. The truth was that if we want to be happier, nicer, energetic people, we have to find calm. The question was how do we do that in a crazy hectic day?

   The truth is that everyone's calm comes from a different place. Some people like to read to calm themselves by escaping into a good book and leaving the world behind. I like to throw on some headphones, go for a long walk in the middle of nowhere, belting out my favorite songs, or cleaning the house. Either way you do it, the endorphins in your body release, giving you a sense of calming and relaxation, which make it easier to be happy. The best option I was given though, and I still use when the music won't work, was meditation.

   I know some of the world thinks meditation means sitting cross legged, listening to Himalayan chants and wind chimes, but it doesn't have to be. What I found worked was called a guided meditation. You sit in a quiet place, close your eyes, and listen to someone with a soothing voice walk you through an imaginative world that you create. This also becomes good for your imagination. Something as simple as someone telling you, 

                    "You're in your car, and you slowly pull up to the empty piece of property that you own. You   get out, and smell the clear warm air. You hear the singing of the birds around you. Take a moment, picture the surrounding. Picture what it looks like, how you feel. Hear the soft melody of the birds, and feel the warm air on your skin. Breathe in deeply and take a moment to take in your surroundings..."

Essentially the visualization can last anywhere from 5 minutes to half an hour, works with your work breaks, and you can do it anywhere. Once calm, it's easier to refocus and move forward with the day. There are millions of them online, on you tube, and you can even make your own. They fit with whatever you find relaxing, from being on a beach, in the woods, a library, etc.  (or in this case, a field of Sunflowers)

In the end, I don't know why the world is spinning into this odd negative space, but as I was told when I was a child "the world is what you make it" and frankly, I think it should be positive. So if you find yourself feeling the negativity around you, and from others, remember boy scouts; Don't jump in to save them and end up flailing and drowning yourself..... Knock them out, and drag them to shore if you have to. Just kidding. Find your own positive, focus on it, and if the negative people want help offer it. At the end of the day though, it's up to them, and they can only be saved if they truly want to be.

Finally, the RIGHT (wing) solution!

I was browsing my facebook, when I found this article that my friend posted from the internet.








 (http://rightwingnews.com/top-news/welfare-recipients-freak-theyre-told-work/)

Essentially, what it said, was that the people of Maine  were a bit shocked at a decision made by their governor recently. The decision, made a law that had been put on suspension during the recession, was being re-instated. The law itself, makes people who are on welfare, were going to have to go back to working for their welfare cheques. Oddly enough, the almost 6,000 people on welfare in the state, were not happy about this.

My initial thought, was that this would have the potential to harm the legitimate welfare recipients who had kids, were unable to work due to injury, were elderly, etc. That was until I read the article fully.

The law itself, exempts anyone over the age of 50 or under the age of 18, so the elderly, and the children who didn't have parents, or were raised on the child welfare system, would still be completely protected. Parents with children would also be protected, which I fully support, as being a parent 100% of the time to more than one child and without child protective service intervening, if frankly a fulltime job itself; atleast when they are not school aged.

"Governor Paul LePaige said in a statement on the decision. “We must protect our limited resources for those who are truly in need and who are doing all they can to be self-sufficient.” In order to do this noble goal, he is complying with the law which requires that anyone who is on welfare, could be working, and does not have children, must do one of two things to get their funds. The first option was that they could volunteer 20 hours a week for a charity, or non-profit organization. The second option was that they could enroll in educational programs to assist them in being able to be employed.

Frankly, both options were very reasonable. 20 hours out of a week with nothing to do, would benefit the rest of society through working for charity. People would be paying it forward, and the state benefits from the people who are off work. It's something people can be proud of, and even place on their resume as new job skills, and humanitarian work. Education speaks for itself, giving you a chance to learn a new skill, hobby, or even extra criteria for your resume.

The shock came when they interviewed a woman name Melina, who stated that she" was particularly disturbed by the news that she would have to do something in order to receive her special “expensive” food" due to her dietary restrictions. "Melania had been receiving $224 per month for nothing and now just does not think it’s fair to have to put an effort forth for it."

To be honest, I think Ontario and the rest of Canada could learn from this, and implement a very similar law. If you have children at home 24/7, there's absolutely no excuse for not utilizing publicly funded programs for educating your children or keeping them active. I've seen a close friend do this regularly with her children, and after residing with her for almost a year, I was able to see how structured her day was with the kids, and how beneficial it was for them. Her children were well rounded, behaved, and extremely smart.

If people are sitting on welfare, without having children and are not doing anything, then there's absolutely no excuse. These people are draining public resources, which would be better spent for public programs, educational programs, and all sorts of other activities that would benefit society.As a tax payer, we pump millions of dollars into the welfare system every year, and yet our economy suffers because there's no one to run soup kitchens, food banks, shelters, etc. without being paid. These programs would get people off the streets, clean up our country, and cost less than they do currently if staffed by thousands of able bodied volunteers.

Currently, Ontario doesn't have regulations or laws like this. In fact, after seeing our welfare system work, and working with it for many years, I can truthfully say, our welfare system is a giant joke. Our welfare system take money from people who are attempting to work by taking dollar for dollar amounts out of the pockets of hard working citizens. It makes it punitive to work while on welfare, when it should work to top up people who are trying.

Consider this mathematics 101 thought: If you have 20 people on welfare, collecting $500 a month, then the system is paying out $10,000.00 a month to those people alone. Give those 20 people a job, which pays them $400.00, and have welfare add the extra $100 dollars, and you have the system paying only $2,000.00 a month for those same people. At that rate, the tax payers are saving $8,000.00 monthly which works to help an extended 16 people. Now, this is hardly a solution for the system, as it doesn't help anyone become stable, it only replaces money from one pool to another, and there's no actual incentive. However, if those 20 people work the same amount, make the $400.00 a month, and we provide them an extra $250.00 a month, well now they make more which benefits them, and the Taxpayer still saves $5,000.00 to benefit others. We both win, and slowly but surely, those 20 people gain further skills, employment, and stability, getting them off the welfare system altogether.

Let's clean up our own country Canada, let's get volunteers to teach programs, run food banks, shelters, and free programs. If there's a desire to work, people will find a way to do so, and if they reap benefits from both to eventually get off welfare, our country becomes stronger. So push the government to reform our current system and make our country better. There's no reason we can't do this as a nation.

A Great HotSpot in Sudbury

I have to tell you about a awesome new spot in Sudbury, which has officially gotten my business on Friday and Saturday nights. It's Called: "Let's Scrabbalatte" in downtown Sudbury on Elm St.



It's owned and operated by two young brothers, Erik and Lawrie Van Beek, who are running a board game, card game, coffee house, all in one. My fiance wanted to go there, and honestly, while it's still in it's infancy, I can see it becoming a huge hit.
We checked it out tonight, and there were tons of board games to choose from, including card games and Charades style games, even the new hit "Cards Against Humanity."
For a modest $6 admission, you can sit with friends from 6pm until 2am, and play as many games as you want, while drinking a fancy latte, or an energy drink if your needing that extra bit of energy.

I was really happy to see that by the time we were ready to leave, the place had  a solid mix of about fifty people, including a large number of teens. The thought that this was beginning to replace the typical teenage hang outs of underage bars, at home binge drinking parties, and gang activity, was nice to see. The music was current, and everywhere you looked there were people trying a new game, laughing and hanging out with their friends.

So if you find yourself at home thinking of something to do, or just in the city looking for something cheap and easy to do, check it out. It's a nice end to an evening, and something new from the typical dinner and a movie.

Kudos go out to these two guys. This is a great new adventure to undertake.

Gnocchi with Sage, Parmesan, and butter.

Andre, my fiance, is an amazing cook. He makes me dishes all the time which are savory and home style, which can be soul food when your having a rough day.One of the best dishes he makes, is Sage and Parmesan cheese.

Hope you guys enjoy this as much as I do.

• 2 (12 ounce) packages potato gnocchi
• 1/4 cup butter
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1 teaspoon dried sage

• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
  
  

  Directions

• Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil over high heat. Add the gnocchi pasta, and cook until they float to the surface, 2 to 3 minutes; drain.
• Melt the butter in a skillet over medium heat. Stir in the garlic, and cook until the garlic has softened and is beginning to turn golden brown, about 4 minutes. Stir in the sage and salt for a few seconds, then add the cooked gnocchi. Toss gently with 1/4 cup of Parmesan cheese and the pepper. Sprinkle with the remaining 2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese to serve.
   

(http://allrecipes.com/recipe/gnocchi-with-sage-butter-sauce/)

The word "Authentic", and the lie it sells.

 Authenticity in all it's glory

I was at church on Sunday, and realized that our reverend, brought up the topic of being Authentic, as a person. What struck me as odd with this, was that I've been hearing from so many people, for such a long time, that the most fulfilled life is one where we live "Authentically" to ourselves.

My mother first began telling me this when I was a teen. Teachers began using the term in University and College, even former supervisors, and now my reverend. The term seems to be endearing and stand for some higher achievement of the person and the fulfillment of the soul. Yet when I ask people what that means, they are always quick to offer a vague explanation, and quickly move to a new topic.

In hopes of finding the meaning, I searched the internet.  I found a wonderful definition which reads "Authenticity is the development and expression of your essential self, uncensored, undiluted, unimpeded by external forces. The real you, not a circumstantial, conditional, contingent version of you." ("Live Authentically" by Tom Murcko. http://www.howtolive.com/live-authentically/). In reading the steps and definition more thoroughly, I began to realize that while I have always aspired to this, and while I have admired people who do this regularly, the truth is that this is the biggest lie we preach to one another. 

The goal of living authentically is a beautiful one, and in an ideal world where people embraced it, the concept would have truly amazing benefits on society as a whole. The reality is something rather different, though. 

To live authentically, you are to put into practice what you feel and believe to be true in your heart. It's to stop censoring your expressions, and to be sincere and live candidly. Thinking back on the times I have done this in life, all I can come up with is times when I have received punitive retributions for such actions. 

I have had supervisors tell me that I should be "authentic" and be unafraid to challenge myself and my superiors to ensure that  the best course of action is taken. However, when a worker practices this, they quickly find that they are the target of that pretty pink slip made paper airplane, that is aimed for their backs. Telling a professor that you disagree with their thesis, results in a very authoritative lecture to the class that they "have been working to have an opinion for the past eight years to become a professor, and upon you achieving the same, you will then be entitled to an opinion, but until then you will accept the one [they] provide you for your next paper."

Do we Practice what we preach?

Countless times throughout life, I have been told everything from: You shouldn't tell people about your relationship with another man. You should watch what you post on Facebook, because you don't know how someone will use it, or if they will take it to your boss to attempt to declare you unfit. You should show respect for your elders, even if you don't feel it. etc.

Society weaves this fantasy into the heads of the coming generations, telling them to be individuals, and be true to themselves. Then Society turns around and tells them, don't do that because you could offend or  hurt someone, or you may be punished for it later. You must be true to yourself, but you must conform and follow the Societal norm, for fear of who or how it may be taken.

We tell ourselves that living this life will bring us joy and self fulfillment, but the reality is that fulfillment and joy, don't pay the mortgage, the bills, or the living expenses of life. In order to do that, you need to go to work in a good paying career, where you conform to what your executives feel is suitable for the role. You need to play the political game of the office atmosphere, and try to ensure your survival in the world.

Do you live a lie?

So I pose this question to my readers: Do you live the lie of the world, pretend to be authentic, and then conform when in public to survive; Or do you live authentic 100% of the time, and say to heck with the world. When you conform, does it slowly kill your soul until your a bitter executive, and do you feel like you sold out? When you live authentically the entire time, do you find the world around you seems to be screaming conform and give in, as though you were not designed for the world you live in?

The point

Think about your life, and how you want to live it. Do you want to be the executive, who sees others as liabilities and numbers in the world; or the person everyone else see's as radical? When you go to sleep at night, can you be content with what you have taught your children and the next generation that is all around you? Did you tell them to wear that bandana at school, even though they were banned, and then stand behind them when they got sent to the principles office? Did you stand by them when they told someone they didn't like a meal, an outfit, or a gift; Or did you correct them because Society says that being honest is rude?
 

If we are ever to truly live authentically, then we have to accept others for who and what they are. We have to see a role for them in the world, and embrace their difference. Sadly, while I continue to strive to live this utopian ideal, I have to believe that I don't think the world is ready, or willing, to accept "Authenticity" the way it preaches it, and asks us to practice it. 

I for one say, embrace it as much as you can. Explore the world, challenge ideals, and be unafraid to speak your truths. Stand behind those who are independent and you agree with, because they may just be right. Be who you are, and stand for what you believe in. Be willing to come at the world from a stance of logic everyday, and be prepared to realize that your world can and will change. You are not constricted to the beliefs of your friends, family, or forefathers. Being openly gay requires a step towards being authentic, and living it honestly shouldn't be a sign of weakness; but a sign of strength.  I've embraced who I am, and who I want to be. I'm quirky, with a million thoughts a day. I ask my friends, family, especially my fiance, morally ethical questions regularly, because they pop into my head. I act goofy at times, caring and genuine in other times, and independently on a very regular basis. 

I've learned from the people around me, the ones that I admire most, that everyday is open to possibilities. I've learned that sometimes the best ice breaker is to start random, saying "I like toast. How about you?" It may be random, but it's honest, and it's going to grab their attention. I've learned that laughing at the world and the weird things in it, can be harmless, and fun. Going for midnight walks, high only on life and lack of sleep, can be breath taking. So I choose to live as I am, uncensored and true to me. Take it or leave it, but I can tell you honestly that if you embrace me, I'll never be boring to be around.

Finding meaning in the World through Hobbies

       Taking some time off from the world, and looking at focusing on my own goals and hobbies has been almost cathartic. When I was visiting my family, my mother told me I should consider writing a book. Merely sitting down and writing, to see where it would take me. My fiance has encouraged that I embrace my hobbies around the house, by finishing painting projects (such as the banisters), focusing on the wedding details and planning, etc.

     I've had the privilege of being able to explore new career options, recharging my internal batteries, and finding my passions again. Last weekend, I babysat my nephews, without thinking about work I should be doing, or errands I should be otherwise running. I breathed easy, and enjoyed playing with 2 cute little boys, who just want to hang out and have fun with their uncle playing cars, or Skylanders. It was refreshing.



    Last night, I began doing what my mother suggested, and began writing. I read articles online about how to write, how to come up with a story, theme, plot, and a whole other world. I began writing, and the story just began to flow on it's own. It may not win a Pulitzer prize, or top the New York Best seller's charts, but it will be mine, and maybe someday when it's complete I'll try sending it to a publisher for kicks. I promise that before I send it to a publisher, my readers will have first view of the book, and I'm alright with creative criticism. Who knows, maybe you will be the first people to read the next great novel, and have had the fast track first glimpse of it, with your own claim on it's fame.

The greatest realization I've had is that all these years of thinking I had horrible grammar, spelling, and run on sentences, was because I had too many thoughts in my head and no where to release them. I rambled because I felt rushed to put it on paper, and be as short and concise as I could be with my details. Having a blog, and writing a story, are so much different from that. You begin writing, as though watching a movie in your head, and describing what you see and hear. Quickly the characters take on a role all their own, and before long, you have this world that your brain created as if it were an alternate reality of it's own. You then begin to appreciate the writing itself, editing it. You start thinking about whether or not you should write as the omnipotent narrator, or first person from the perspective of your character. It becomes it's own world for you to enjoy.

At the moment I've begun realizing that much like J.M. Barrie, author of the original Peter Pan, you enter your own world, that you can begin sharing with the rest of the world, or keep to yourself. The laws of the everyday world can fade away to whatever you want them to be, and no one can tell you it's wrong. It's almost as though you are the king and master of your own world.

What I also realized, was that I have so many stories to write. There's the thoughts I'm working on at the moment. There's stories of an lovable yet eccentric woman who marches to her own beat, and fascinates the world with all the trouble she gets into on her journey's. There's even potential for ones about an entire zoo made up of miniature animals from around the world.

While Andre found Knitting over the holidays as a new hobby, I found literature again. I found reading, and with the spark of my imagination, I found writing.

I think one of the largest problem that we face as a society in our consumer driven, productivity encouraged, working world, is that we stopped having hobbies. I'm looking forward to going back out to my workshop (ok, so it's a shed with a lot of fun tools in it), and making a backing for my sister in laws dining room chair that's broken. I look forward to painting the banisters, as tedious as they may be to do, and all the construction jobs around the house I wanted to tackle when we first bought it. Andre found knitting, and he's getting good at it. I'll soon have a scarf, and he'll have a book to critique, and at nights, we're no longer sitting here bored and uninteresting. We can now have discussions on why his knitting needles broke, and he can show me the patterns of Sweaters, Scarves and blankets he wants to learn to knit. I get to share my characters, and theoretical discussions on their nature and how they'll react to plot twists. We get to sit down at night, and enjoy one another again, instead of enjoying the best of Netflix, over and over and over, in silence.

While a lot of people will tell you that certain hobbies are expensive, the truth of the matter is that it's a lot less costly than the Psychiatrist you're going to spend 10 years with weekly, after 20 years of an uneventful marriage, or even the cost of feeling drained and dead on the inside all the time. People need hobbies, and it's hard to think that we are losing them. Our parents went bowling on Friday nights, played card games, and told us to go to bed while they laughed in the kitchens of our homes into the wee hours of the mornings some weekends, because it brought them some meaning and joy to an otherwise boring standard work week in a factory or pushing paper somewhere.

Hobbies can be anything that you're passionate about and don't have to start by costing a lot of money. A book is often less than the cost of a weeks worth of coffee, and better for your brain. A salt water aquarium is slow and costly to begin, but provides countless amounts of  time you can spend watching the underwater world, and planning the next steps. Heck card games can even become expensive if you allow them to, but can also provide thousands of hours of laughing and enjoyment with family and friends.

In the end, we need hobbies as much as we do breathable air. We've lost track of what hobbies can be and what we can do with our time, other than television. So why not pick a new one, and embrace it. I'd love some ideas of new hobbies, because there's not a huge creative list on the internet yet, and if we want to reverse the oppressive crushing role of Society into mindless drones, we're going to need a list like that one.

The Next Harry Potter?!?

            Since I have been able to have some time to pursue more work in my other passions, I sought to find a new book that would be to captivate me and give me an adventure. As a global nation we all got hooked on the Harry Potter series, by J.K Rowlings. After that we had a mass following of the Twilight Series, by Stephanie Meyers, and then the world began it's search for another book series. The problem with all book series, is that it's hard to find one that everyone can relate to, can fall in love with, and can become enveloped by the fascinating new world it creates.

While I have been looking for such series myself, I have found a couple, but they have never truly taken off in the media. So, when I found the book "The Iron Trials" which was the first in a five book series by Holly Black and Cassandra Clare. Holly black is the best selling author of the "Spiderwick Chronicles" series, which has had a large following in the teen genre along with producing the movie of the same title.  Cassandra Clare is the new york times best selling author for her "Mortal Instruments" series, and also her "Infernal Devices" series.


Suffice to say, when the two teamed up to write a novel series together, I decided it would likely be a good read. My fiance, lovingly, bought me a copy of the book and I became enthralled in it immediately. The book focuses on a boy who is supposed to fail the trials for the "Magisterium" which governs a secret academy for mages. The plot has great twists right from the beginning prologue, when you find out something is different about the main character, but never knowing what it is until almost the end of the book. Essentially, before I give away a ton of plot spoilers here, I found the book to be enough like Harry potter to intrigue me, while being also different enough, that it's not just another fantasy story that's been rebranded.

I highly recommend it for anyone looking to get a jump on another of the literary worlds greatest books.