Gnocchi with Sage, Parmesan, and butter.

Andre, my fiance, is an amazing cook. He makes me dishes all the time which are savory and home style, which can be soul food when your having a rough day.One of the best dishes he makes, is Sage and Parmesan cheese.

Hope you guys enjoy this as much as I do.

• 2 (12 ounce) packages potato gnocchi
• 1/4 cup butter
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1 teaspoon dried sage

• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
  
  

  Directions

• Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil over high heat. Add the gnocchi pasta, and cook until they float to the surface, 2 to 3 minutes; drain.
• Melt the butter in a skillet over medium heat. Stir in the garlic, and cook until the garlic has softened and is beginning to turn golden brown, about 4 minutes. Stir in the sage and salt for a few seconds, then add the cooked gnocchi. Toss gently with 1/4 cup of Parmesan cheese and the pepper. Sprinkle with the remaining 2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese to serve.
   

(http://allrecipes.com/recipe/gnocchi-with-sage-butter-sauce/)

The word "Authentic", and the lie it sells.

 Authenticity in all it's glory

I was at church on Sunday, and realized that our reverend, brought up the topic of being Authentic, as a person. What struck me as odd with this, was that I've been hearing from so many people, for such a long time, that the most fulfilled life is one where we live "Authentically" to ourselves.

My mother first began telling me this when I was a teen. Teachers began using the term in University and College, even former supervisors, and now my reverend. The term seems to be endearing and stand for some higher achievement of the person and the fulfillment of the soul. Yet when I ask people what that means, they are always quick to offer a vague explanation, and quickly move to a new topic.

In hopes of finding the meaning, I searched the internet.  I found a wonderful definition which reads "Authenticity is the development and expression of your essential self, uncensored, undiluted, unimpeded by external forces. The real you, not a circumstantial, conditional, contingent version of you." ("Live Authentically" by Tom Murcko. http://www.howtolive.com/live-authentically/). In reading the steps and definition more thoroughly, I began to realize that while I have always aspired to this, and while I have admired people who do this regularly, the truth is that this is the biggest lie we preach to one another. 

The goal of living authentically is a beautiful one, and in an ideal world where people embraced it, the concept would have truly amazing benefits on society as a whole. The reality is something rather different, though. 

To live authentically, you are to put into practice what you feel and believe to be true in your heart. It's to stop censoring your expressions, and to be sincere and live candidly. Thinking back on the times I have done this in life, all I can come up with is times when I have received punitive retributions for such actions. 

I have had supervisors tell me that I should be "authentic" and be unafraid to challenge myself and my superiors to ensure that  the best course of action is taken. However, when a worker practices this, they quickly find that they are the target of that pretty pink slip made paper airplane, that is aimed for their backs. Telling a professor that you disagree with their thesis, results in a very authoritative lecture to the class that they "have been working to have an opinion for the past eight years to become a professor, and upon you achieving the same, you will then be entitled to an opinion, but until then you will accept the one [they] provide you for your next paper."

Do we Practice what we preach?

Countless times throughout life, I have been told everything from: You shouldn't tell people about your relationship with another man. You should watch what you post on Facebook, because you don't know how someone will use it, or if they will take it to your boss to attempt to declare you unfit. You should show respect for your elders, even if you don't feel it. etc.

Society weaves this fantasy into the heads of the coming generations, telling them to be individuals, and be true to themselves. Then Society turns around and tells them, don't do that because you could offend or  hurt someone, or you may be punished for it later. You must be true to yourself, but you must conform and follow the Societal norm, for fear of who or how it may be taken.

We tell ourselves that living this life will bring us joy and self fulfillment, but the reality is that fulfillment and joy, don't pay the mortgage, the bills, or the living expenses of life. In order to do that, you need to go to work in a good paying career, where you conform to what your executives feel is suitable for the role. You need to play the political game of the office atmosphere, and try to ensure your survival in the world.

Do you live a lie?

So I pose this question to my readers: Do you live the lie of the world, pretend to be authentic, and then conform when in public to survive; Or do you live authentic 100% of the time, and say to heck with the world. When you conform, does it slowly kill your soul until your a bitter executive, and do you feel like you sold out? When you live authentically the entire time, do you find the world around you seems to be screaming conform and give in, as though you were not designed for the world you live in?

The point

Think about your life, and how you want to live it. Do you want to be the executive, who sees others as liabilities and numbers in the world; or the person everyone else see's as radical? When you go to sleep at night, can you be content with what you have taught your children and the next generation that is all around you? Did you tell them to wear that bandana at school, even though they were banned, and then stand behind them when they got sent to the principles office? Did you stand by them when they told someone they didn't like a meal, an outfit, or a gift; Or did you correct them because Society says that being honest is rude?
 

If we are ever to truly live authentically, then we have to accept others for who and what they are. We have to see a role for them in the world, and embrace their difference. Sadly, while I continue to strive to live this utopian ideal, I have to believe that I don't think the world is ready, or willing, to accept "Authenticity" the way it preaches it, and asks us to practice it. 

I for one say, embrace it as much as you can. Explore the world, challenge ideals, and be unafraid to speak your truths. Stand behind those who are independent and you agree with, because they may just be right. Be who you are, and stand for what you believe in. Be willing to come at the world from a stance of logic everyday, and be prepared to realize that your world can and will change. You are not constricted to the beliefs of your friends, family, or forefathers. Being openly gay requires a step towards being authentic, and living it honestly shouldn't be a sign of weakness; but a sign of strength.  I've embraced who I am, and who I want to be. I'm quirky, with a million thoughts a day. I ask my friends, family, especially my fiance, morally ethical questions regularly, because they pop into my head. I act goofy at times, caring and genuine in other times, and independently on a very regular basis. 

I've learned from the people around me, the ones that I admire most, that everyday is open to possibilities. I've learned that sometimes the best ice breaker is to start random, saying "I like toast. How about you?" It may be random, but it's honest, and it's going to grab their attention. I've learned that laughing at the world and the weird things in it, can be harmless, and fun. Going for midnight walks, high only on life and lack of sleep, can be breath taking. So I choose to live as I am, uncensored and true to me. Take it or leave it, but I can tell you honestly that if you embrace me, I'll never be boring to be around.

Finding meaning in the World through Hobbies

       Taking some time off from the world, and looking at focusing on my own goals and hobbies has been almost cathartic. When I was visiting my family, my mother told me I should consider writing a book. Merely sitting down and writing, to see where it would take me. My fiance has encouraged that I embrace my hobbies around the house, by finishing painting projects (such as the banisters), focusing on the wedding details and planning, etc.

     I've had the privilege of being able to explore new career options, recharging my internal batteries, and finding my passions again. Last weekend, I babysat my nephews, without thinking about work I should be doing, or errands I should be otherwise running. I breathed easy, and enjoyed playing with 2 cute little boys, who just want to hang out and have fun with their uncle playing cars, or Skylanders. It was refreshing.



    Last night, I began doing what my mother suggested, and began writing. I read articles online about how to write, how to come up with a story, theme, plot, and a whole other world. I began writing, and the story just began to flow on it's own. It may not win a Pulitzer prize, or top the New York Best seller's charts, but it will be mine, and maybe someday when it's complete I'll try sending it to a publisher for kicks. I promise that before I send it to a publisher, my readers will have first view of the book, and I'm alright with creative criticism. Who knows, maybe you will be the first people to read the next great novel, and have had the fast track first glimpse of it, with your own claim on it's fame.

The greatest realization I've had is that all these years of thinking I had horrible grammar, spelling, and run on sentences, was because I had too many thoughts in my head and no where to release them. I rambled because I felt rushed to put it on paper, and be as short and concise as I could be with my details. Having a blog, and writing a story, are so much different from that. You begin writing, as though watching a movie in your head, and describing what you see and hear. Quickly the characters take on a role all their own, and before long, you have this world that your brain created as if it were an alternate reality of it's own. You then begin to appreciate the writing itself, editing it. You start thinking about whether or not you should write as the omnipotent narrator, or first person from the perspective of your character. It becomes it's own world for you to enjoy.

At the moment I've begun realizing that much like J.M. Barrie, author of the original Peter Pan, you enter your own world, that you can begin sharing with the rest of the world, or keep to yourself. The laws of the everyday world can fade away to whatever you want them to be, and no one can tell you it's wrong. It's almost as though you are the king and master of your own world.

What I also realized, was that I have so many stories to write. There's the thoughts I'm working on at the moment. There's stories of an lovable yet eccentric woman who marches to her own beat, and fascinates the world with all the trouble she gets into on her journey's. There's even potential for ones about an entire zoo made up of miniature animals from around the world.

While Andre found Knitting over the holidays as a new hobby, I found literature again. I found reading, and with the spark of my imagination, I found writing.

I think one of the largest problem that we face as a society in our consumer driven, productivity encouraged, working world, is that we stopped having hobbies. I'm looking forward to going back out to my workshop (ok, so it's a shed with a lot of fun tools in it), and making a backing for my sister in laws dining room chair that's broken. I look forward to painting the banisters, as tedious as they may be to do, and all the construction jobs around the house I wanted to tackle when we first bought it. Andre found knitting, and he's getting good at it. I'll soon have a scarf, and he'll have a book to critique, and at nights, we're no longer sitting here bored and uninteresting. We can now have discussions on why his knitting needles broke, and he can show me the patterns of Sweaters, Scarves and blankets he wants to learn to knit. I get to share my characters, and theoretical discussions on their nature and how they'll react to plot twists. We get to sit down at night, and enjoy one another again, instead of enjoying the best of Netflix, over and over and over, in silence.

While a lot of people will tell you that certain hobbies are expensive, the truth of the matter is that it's a lot less costly than the Psychiatrist you're going to spend 10 years with weekly, after 20 years of an uneventful marriage, or even the cost of feeling drained and dead on the inside all the time. People need hobbies, and it's hard to think that we are losing them. Our parents went bowling on Friday nights, played card games, and told us to go to bed while they laughed in the kitchens of our homes into the wee hours of the mornings some weekends, because it brought them some meaning and joy to an otherwise boring standard work week in a factory or pushing paper somewhere.

Hobbies can be anything that you're passionate about and don't have to start by costing a lot of money. A book is often less than the cost of a weeks worth of coffee, and better for your brain. A salt water aquarium is slow and costly to begin, but provides countless amounts of  time you can spend watching the underwater world, and planning the next steps. Heck card games can even become expensive if you allow them to, but can also provide thousands of hours of laughing and enjoyment with family and friends.

In the end, we need hobbies as much as we do breathable air. We've lost track of what hobbies can be and what we can do with our time, other than television. So why not pick a new one, and embrace it. I'd love some ideas of new hobbies, because there's not a huge creative list on the internet yet, and if we want to reverse the oppressive crushing role of Society into mindless drones, we're going to need a list like that one.

The Next Harry Potter?!?

            Since I have been able to have some time to pursue more work in my other passions, I sought to find a new book that would be to captivate me and give me an adventure. As a global nation we all got hooked on the Harry Potter series, by J.K Rowlings. After that we had a mass following of the Twilight Series, by Stephanie Meyers, and then the world began it's search for another book series. The problem with all book series, is that it's hard to find one that everyone can relate to, can fall in love with, and can become enveloped by the fascinating new world it creates.

While I have been looking for such series myself, I have found a couple, but they have never truly taken off in the media. So, when I found the book "The Iron Trials" which was the first in a five book series by Holly Black and Cassandra Clare. Holly black is the best selling author of the "Spiderwick Chronicles" series, which has had a large following in the teen genre along with producing the movie of the same title.  Cassandra Clare is the new york times best selling author for her "Mortal Instruments" series, and also her "Infernal Devices" series.


Suffice to say, when the two teamed up to write a novel series together, I decided it would likely be a good read. My fiance, lovingly, bought me a copy of the book and I became enthralled in it immediately. The book focuses on a boy who is supposed to fail the trials for the "Magisterium" which governs a secret academy for mages. The plot has great twists right from the beginning prologue, when you find out something is different about the main character, but never knowing what it is until almost the end of the book. Essentially, before I give away a ton of plot spoilers here, I found the book to be enough like Harry potter to intrigue me, while being also different enough, that it's not just another fantasy story that's been rebranded.

I highly recommend it for anyone looking to get a jump on another of the literary worlds greatest books.